I find myself missing you at random times - when I do things like clean out my email or dig through one of my hard drives or go to a wedding.
You’re gone, but you still lives in those places.
So many old emails we sent back and forth. Tons of spreadsheets we made to navigate our early 20s. Flight confirmations from all of our trips to visit each other.
The wedding thing…I didn’t see it coming. It has nothing to do with the act of marriage, but rather being at an event like a wedding, surrounded by friends and family, and remembering the feeling of how perfectly you fit into it.
I didn’t know how much I loved that feeling until I lost it.
I know I can find that with someone else, and one day I hope to, but for now it’s just me, and the feelings of what once was and a little bit of what could’ve been.
This reads more depressing than I’m meaning for it to. I’m handling it much better these days, but sometimes I do miss it all - the world we built together.
The more time that passes, the easier it gets. I wish we could still speak.
You really were my best friend.